Heima (Home) [2009!]..?

H E I M A

Walking down on the foggy, frosted roads of desolation after a night of ecstasy, bewilderment, alienation, heartbreak and adrenaline where does one go to rest the destruction? Where is home? The alcohol within me leads me the wrong way. The flashing lights of the highway look promising, cars flying down, driven by the wasted, driving on the ice and crashing into the wasteland, the wreckage of a generation forgotten. I turn around reluctantly and head home, or at least where I think it is. I’ll take the shorter way. But the guardians are sleeping, the hounds wake up to my hurried movements and they have bigger teeth than me. The dogs are barking away from the highway as I try to scale the fence to get home, they sense what is inside me, an impure feeling of greed, something is not right within, and the street dogs have found it, they reject me with foaming mouths and ferocious growls. I choose flight. I’ll have to go all the way around, the longer way.
I could crash any moment. The pavements look inviting and the alleys call out to me. What is the chance that I will wake up in the morning if I collapse here? The ill-lit street is nearly deserted, I walk as fast as I can, there are a few people at odd corners, draped in a shawl and waiting. Waiting for god knows what at one-thirty in the morning. But there is an unmistakable look of expectation and hope in their eyes as they look suspiciously at me. Maybe I shouldn’t have left, I am on the edge of my conscious horizon and a few more minutes at the party would have thrown me over. But I want to stay on the edge, from the edge you can see so much more. I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the centre. Kurt Vonnegut said that. God rest his soul. A good night? Perhaps, if I could just leave my confused fucking problems and issues that make no sense to me but still pull me back into depression. A rotten start to the year nonetheless. There was a better start to the year last time and the year turned out to be rotten. This time a rotten start to a great year? I fucking hope so.

Dylan

God said, "Let there be light, and there was Dylan".




So this is going to be my first post in a long, long time and since I cant be bothered to write something on a regular basis, I will be quoting Dylan lyrics everyday (hopefully everyday) and maybe my interpretation and what they mean to me.

So for today,

5th October, 2008.

"Ain't it just like the night to play tricks when you're tryin' to be so quiet?
We sit here stranded, though we're all doin' our best to deny it
And Louise holds a handful of rain, temptin' you to defy it"

-Song: Visions Of Johanna

Album: Blonde On Blonde

The picture on the top is the closest thing I could find on the internet that matched the imagery that manifests in my mind when I hear those lyrics. Visions Of Johanna is probably Bob's greatest song and some of the imagery that it sparks is just amazingly vibrant and celestial.

Love Minus Zero/No Limit

iPod Answers

1. Put iPod on shuffle.
2. Use the song title as the answer to the question.
3. You must put that song name down. no matter how ridiculous it sounds
4. Add any comments in brackets

1. When someone asks 'is this okay', you say:
Everybody Needs Love-Slim Smith

2.What does the next year have in store for you?
Holiday-Green Day
(...NOT!!)

3.What does your love life look like?
The Rainbow-Apples In Stereo
(Hahaha...the iPod doesn't know very much)

4.How would you describe yourself?
Loyalty-D12
(I should hope so)

5.What is your life's purpose?
Stop Frontin'-KRS-One
(That's not a bad purpose)

6.What's your favourite saying?
If I had A Million Dollars-Eminem
(Wow...Bang on)

7.What do you look for in a girl?
Smooth Jazz Cafe-Ambient Basia & Spyro Gyra

8.What is your favourite place?
A Hard Day's Night-The Beatles
(Well not really...)

9.What do your friends think of you?
In The Aeroplane Over The Sea-Modest Mouse

10. What do you think of your friends?
Imagine-John Lennon


11. What do you think of the person you like?
Need Your Love So Bad-Fleetwood Mac

12. What do you think of your parents?
Things We Said Today-The Beatles

13.What do you think about very often?
Vertigo-U2
(Not really but it does scare me)

14. How do you feel today?
Monkey Man-Toots And The Maytals
(Feel like that everyday :p)

15. How will you die?
Get Higher-Black Grape
(Die while getting higher or get higher while dying?)

16. What is 2+2?
It Ain't Me, Babe-Bob Dylan
(Well that's a relief..)

17. What is your life story?
Spiritual Whp-Jah Lloyd
(Hmm...)

18. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Ms. Jackson-Outkast
(Haha)

19. What song will be played at your funeral?
Iron Lion Zion-Bob Marley
(I was hoping something for quainter...)

20. What is your main hobby?
You Can't Do That-The Beatles
(That's right...you can never do my hobby)

21. What is your biggest fear?
Strange Little Girl-Stealers Wheel
(Its true...I rather not talk about it...)

22.What is your biggest secret?
I'm Going Home-Ten Years After

23. What is your favourite saying?
A Little Bit Later On-Ella Fitzgerald
(Procrastination...)

24. Where would you go on a first date?
Remember(Walking In The Sand)-The Shangri-Las
(I'm confused...would we remember walking in the sand on the first date or actually walk on the sand?)

25.What do you say when life gets hard?
Everything In Its Right Place-Radiohead
(Well then why is getting so tough?)

26.What's the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
St. Louis Blues-Louis Armstrong

27.What is your drug of choice?
In My Heart-Moby
(My blood is my drug)

28.What do you want to be when you grow up?
King Of New York-Fun Lovin' Criminals
(Wow...that would be nice)

29.What does the next year have in store for you?
O Green World-The Gorillaz
(Well I guess that spells doom for Global Warming)

30. What is your state of mind at the moment?
Come On(Let The Good Times Roll)-Jimi Hendrix
(Not really but okay..)

31. What kind of person are you?
Lebanese Blonde-Thievery Corporation
(Hmm...Hahaha..)

32. What are you going to do after this?
Come Fly With Me-Frank Sinatra
(Who doesn't love flying with Sinatra?)

33.What are you going to do tomorrow?
Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds-The Beatles
(I'm going to do Lucy in the sky with diamonds? HAHA)

34.Where do you think your life is taking you?
Where I'm From-The Game
(Back to where I belong, eh?)

35.What are you going to post this as?
Love Minus Zero/No Limit-Bob Dylan
(What a song..Hail Dylan)

Amir Khusrao

Amir Khusrao was a great mystical sufi poet who was born in India in 1253 and lived until 1325. Here is his Wikipedia Page.

Here is a couplet of his that I particularly enjoy:

Khusrau darya prem ka, ulti wa ki dhaar,
Jo utra so doob gaya, jo dooba so paar.

TRANSLATION

Oh Khusrao, the river of love

Runs in strange directions.

One who jumps into it drowns,

And the one who drowns, gets across.

FREE TIBET

A little poster like thing I made on photoshop. Free Tibet!

BOYCOTT BEIJING 2008.

Its not a game...

Smiling For No Reason

Last night at around 1 AM, because of my irregular sleep patterns, I was wide awake once again when I should have been lost in the valley below. I put on some jazz and found some amount of calm. The playlist came then to "My Favourite Things" by John Coltrane and I found myself swaying and smiling for no reason. I picked up a pen and some stuff wrote itself off the waves. I'm not sure I even had any control, other than holding the pen. Coltrane's sax swayed my pen and etched a few random words. As the piece picked up pace I grew a bit too content, and as a result grew restless. I got up and did as many sit-ups I could and then push ups. Working out to John Coltrane, I'm not sure how many people do that...

The poem;

A peace reigns,
Undisturbed by the blood on the knife,
The rhythm of the fan blows till I notice it.


Before I know it, I'm swaying and smiling for no reason. I need to do this more often. If people can kill for no reason, why do we find it so hard to love for no reason?

Nothing At All

There goes the world,
thinking of dirt,
below beyond lies the grave,
the grave of grief and sorrow,
of a life taken by half,
life's,
on a planet not ours,
with a power not theirs,
How long
long long people have,
gone without knowing,
Nothing at all
nothing at all
nothing at all.

Say it to me,
just so that I know its not true,
So that I know its not just me,
My knife says yes,
while my smile doesn't know and,
my heart doesn't tell,
the coffee speaks to me,
in enchanted somnambulistic waves of sweet rhymes
mixed with dark delight
'Oh man you've gone living,
too long knowing,
Nothing at all,
nothing at all,
nothing at all.

Its hard to believe,
that scars ever fade,
'What a queen' cry,
the damned peoples,
whose fathers were
buried with her shit,
now all I see are,
tattooed gangsters,
niggering the matrix,
of pop-culture and,
the white world,
culture thou hast lived,
too long knowing,
Nothing at all,
nothing at all,
nothing at all.

The slide has rusted,
the swing chain now pinches,
my fingers with the past,
and my smile slowly,
fades away as I chance,
upon my happy scar,
the one with the parallel fate,
I taste the gravel, the dust upon the sweet stones
O where has the earth gone?
crying out, I ask the birds,
who look at me with tired eyes,
they're saying,
"Oh man, we've flown too far,
saying,
Nothing at all,
nothing at all,
nothing at all."

Birds and beasts will,
taste the flowers,
but me and you are twisted,
in half-broken shards of plastic glass
riding on euphoric rides of rapid gravity
on pink ponies dressed with fancy lights
and polka dots,
that look at the sun and the moon,
and go round and round,
and round and round,
we go in cosmic circles till,
alas we meet our past,
and our legs find the empty feeling,
to kick the teeth out of the smile,
that destiny grins,
bitter-sweet numbers predict your end,
the mark on your face is bright, glowing,
Its hurt too long,
meaning
Nothing at all,
nothing at all,
nothing at all.

The fires awake from their green embers,
just to burn out and desert this damned land,
they're telling me,
"O man we don't know about you,
but we've burnt too long,
knowing Nothing at all."
©AtBp